Dudes, Duds, and Dads

A Dude, A Dud Or A Dad...Men, It’s Up To You
Proverbs 3:12

The mixed-up world we live seems to encourage men to be dudes and duds...while being a dad is often mocked. I have three high callings in my life. If you’re a believer, you may agree with me. Men, we are first called to be faithful to God. Second, we are called to be faithful to our wife. Third, we are called to be faithful to our children.

I don’t completely have my act together...my dad didn’t either, but he tried really hard and I’m trying too. The dad I knew at home was a happy man. He loved my mother, worked hard, went to church every week, and enjoyed a front porch swing and a glass of iced tea. He was never a dud...and never tried to be a dude. He was a dad. Guys like him never get any recognition. But guys like him don’t want any.

I heard a country song that says, “If I could write a letter to me and send it back in time to myself when I was seventeen...” What an idea...what would I say to myself about my dad if I could write a letter to me when I was seventeen? I might say something like this.... Michael, Thirty years from now you’re gonna remember your dad sitting in the bleachers in the rain watching you play football even though he knew nothing about the game. ...Thirty years from now you’re gonna remember watching your dad kiss your mother goodbye every morning before he left for work. ....Hey, Michael, pay attention to how your dad treats your mother on special days like her birthday, and Mother’s Day, and Valentine’s Day. ...Thirty years from now you’re gonna remember when your dad cried at his dad’s funeral. ...Thirty years from now your dad won’t seem like he’s from another planet. As you get older, he'll get wiser. ...Thirty years from now you’ll wish you had spent more time with him doing whatever he wanted to do. ...Thirty years from now you’ll understand the callouses on his hands, the wrinkles on his face, and the gray in his hair. – If I could write a letter to me back when I was seventeen...I’d tell myself to go and simply say, “Thanks dad.” Thanks for being a good man....and for loving my mother...and for believing in God...and for believing in me. What would you say?

A Dude: King David 2 Samuel 18:33 “And the king was much moved, and went up to the chamber over the gate, and wept: and as he went, thus he said, O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would to God I had died for thee, O Absalom, my son, my son!”

These words sound remorseful....but actually they are words of regret. Amnon and now Absalom had both died ugly deaths because of their dad’s sin. This is what God said to David through Nathan the prophet...2 Samuel 12:10-11, “...The sword will never depart from your house, because you despised me and took the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your own.' "This is what the Lord says: 'Out of your own household I am going to bring calamity upon you..”

So, what’s the problem here? Is it possible David was so busy building his empire that he neglected to build his family? Was he more concerned with his reputation as a king that he neglected his relationship with his children?

The scriptures tell us of how Amnon had taken advantage of Tamar...his half sister and Absalom’s sister. We then read how Absalom killed Amnon because of his sin with Tamar. Then we read how Absalom tried to become King in David’s place even while David was still living. Yet we see very little if any response from David about any of these acts. Absalom was even allowed to come back home after the murder of Amnon.

Compromise is a killer... David was known as a man after God’s own heart, but something happened and at some point he became a man after the hearts of men....seeking to please men rather than God....seeking to please himself rather than please God.

A Dud: Lot Genesis 19:14 “So Lot went out and spoke to his sons-in-law, who had married his daughters, and said,"Get up, get out of this place; for the Lord will destroy this city!" But to his sons-in-law he seemed to be joking.”

What a sad story. You remember Lot. He was the nephew of Abraham. He and Abraham’s herdsmen worked together till one day their men couldn’t get along so Abraham suggested they part ways. Whichever direction Lot went, Abraham would go the other...and Lot pitched his tent toward Sodom. He would never recover.

A person can live too close to Sodom. Lot did and before long he was a changed man. This disciple of Abraham became a dud of a father. He easily blended into the lifestyle of Sodom. Lot had no credibility even in his own family...they laughed at his sudden outcry against Sodom. Lot’s life in Sodom was a shame. When he walked away from Abraham years before, little did he know he would lose his wife, the respect of his children, and his testimony.

Choices matter... We see the choice he made...to go to the land of Sodom. He saw that it was well watered, in other words it was a beautiful place. But little did he know it was greatly wicked. – Don’t just go on a whim...In ALL your ways acknowledge Him...!

A Dad: Noah Hebrews 11:7 “By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became an heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.”

There’s dudes and duds...and then there are dads. Men who do more than simply father children...but feel compelled to be a dad. These are men who do the right thing even when it means sacrificing their time and money and personal dreams. How many men have put their dreams on hold so their children can have their’s come true?

My dad was the son of share-croppers who never owned a home....but made sure that we always had a place we could call our own. My dad quit school in the 8th grade...but made sure I was in school, well dressed and well fed...and he encouraged me in college and seminary. My dad was never wealthy...but taught me the value of a dollar and the value of hard work and that a person didn’t have to be rich to be valuable. My dad knew how to laugh in the midst of tough situations. Times were hard, bills were high, and life was unpredictable, but God was good.

What you believe defines you... Noah believed God and it was accounted him as righteousness (Gen 15:6). Noah’s life counted for God. He did the ridiculous and his children believed.

Noah built an ark: He did it to obey God and to save his family. It was radical...It was ridiculed...and it was risky. But Noah knew God had told him to build it. Men if you lead your family to God, it is radical and risky...and you will be ridiculed.
Noah built an altar: He did it to worship God and witness to his family. The message of the Ark is not complete without the Altar. There is no Salvation without Sacrifice. The Bible says God was pleased...Genesis 8:21... God received the sacrifice of Noah and it pleased him. What was it that pleased God?

The building of the ark pleased God and the burning of the sacrifice pleased God...but rest assured, Noah pleased God. Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord (Gen 6:8). Noah “built an ark to save his family...”

....Men, what are you doing to save your family? What are you doing to lead your family to God? Are you more of a dude, a dud, or a dad? Think about it....