Hugging Dad

Hugging Dad

My dad is 83 years old.  He’s as good a man as I’ve ever known.  He was a good husband to my mother.  He loved her till death did they part.  He still loves her – She’s been in Heaven since 2006.  He still visits her gravesite.  Still talks to her picture.  In the 51 years I have known him, there is nothing bad I can say about him.  I have him as a role model.  I’m blessed.  Can’t tell you the times I’ve been faced with a tough decision and silently I ask myself, “What would daddy do?”  He’s had that kind of influence on me.  I’m grateful for his example. 

Before Mother died, I called to talk to her most every day.  I seldom talked to my dad when I called.  Mother had been sick off and on for several years.  I knew she’d probably go before him.  She did.  I sure miss her.

Before Mother died I didn’t think my dad had much to say.  I found out different after Mother was gone.  There were times when we’d talk for an hour on the phone.  There were times when we’d visit that he’d talk and I’d listen for the better part of two hours.  He doesn’t have so much to say these days.  He’s had a rough year or so.  He’s lost several friends, at least five, in the past few months.  He’s quieter than normal.  Can’t remember like he used to.  Talks a lot about Mother. 

After Mother died I started doing something I had never done.  I started telling Daddy I loved him.  Up till that time I guess I thought he knew it and, besides, it was kind of a “guy thing.”  But, for whatever reason, I started telling him I loved him.  He began to say the same to me.  So, for several years, when I was leaving after a visit, I shook his hand and told him I loved him. 

One day, for whatever reason, I decided I should hug him.  Me and my dad had never been much on hugging each other.  But as I saw him growing older, and saw myself doing the same, I felt like I should hug him.  Maybe he needed it.  Maybe I needed it.  It was one of those “sideways hugs.”  You know what I’m talking about?  Kind of a “half-hug.”  I thought that was enough.  So, as I left his house I would give him a half hug and say, “Love you Pop.”

Here lately I’ve gone from the half-hug to putting both arms around him.  He needs it.  I do too.  I mean, when was the last time you really hugged someone you loved?  Mother, Dad, husband, wife, son, daughter, good friend?  So, I’m hugging Dad these days and telling him in no uncertain words, “I love you daddy.”  I have overcome the “guy thing” and realized there’s something more important.  It’s a “dad thing.”  I imagine he feels what I feel when my kids hug me.  Wow.  Sorry I’m missed out on that for so many years. 

If your mother and dad are still living – If it’s at all possible – Hug them.  Tell them you love them.  They need it.  You do too.   - M