For Better For Worse

For Better – For Worse
Gen 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be
joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Does “true love” exist anymore? Is there a husband and wife out there anywhere who actually love each other more than anything or anyone else in the world? Anyone who’s committed to being “true” for a lifetime? Anyone who’s actually committed to being and having all God intended for them? Being “true” to your marriage may be a little old fashioned, but it is what God intended.

In a recent article in the local newspaper, The Decatur Daily, I read an interesting piece by Lisa Heyamoto regarding the brevity of marriage today. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the average length of a marriage in the United States is about seven and a half years. It seems, however, in Hollywood the length is more like seven hours.

For example, the great Rudolph Valentino was married to Jean Acker for just six hours in 1919. Their marriage hit a wall after she locked him out of their honeymoon suite. There are others who evidently were not in it for the long haul as well. Zsa Zsa Gabor and Felipe de Alba were married for a single day in 1982. Britney Spears and Jason Alexander were married for two days in 2004. Dennis Hopper married Michelle Phillips for eight days in 1970. Drew Barrymore was married Tom Green for five months in 2001. Lisa Marie Presley was married to Michael Jackson for twenty months in 1994 and then to Nicolas Cage for four months in 2002. Jim Carrey and Lauren Holley were married for just ten months in 1996.

Isn’t the Bible a little outdated in establishing marriage as one man and one woman for life? Are we ridiculous to support, and even teach, the idea of two people becoming “one flesh” as we read in Genesis 2:24?

What does it mean, in our everyday lives, to become one flesh? I don’t believe the evidence is earth shattering. I think you can see this idea of two becoming one all around us. Look at the couple in their late seventies, still married, still in love. They have endured storms together. They have shared joys together. They need each other. Each one makes the other complete. There it is...right before our eyes…two becoming one. She finishes his sentences. He knows what she’s thinking. They read each other’s mind. What a wonderful thing to see…Two people who have grown together as one over fifty or sixty years.

Now look at the couple in their early twenties. They have been married almost three years. Do they have anything in common with the couple in their seventies? Absolutely. In Christ, they are one. And, over the next forty years or so their oneness will become more and more evident. Storms will make them stronger. They’ll have more struggles than they can imagine to help them grow together as one. Some would have them believe there is a marriage out there somewhere free from heartache. Somewhere, somehow there is a life where the weather is never too cold or too hot. The sun is always shining and a cool breeze is always blowing.

While doing an internet search I discovered and interesting thought about submission. Ponder these words from Russell Moore: “Perhaps in all our talk of romance and candlelight, we should re-emphasize that sometimes the romance is deferred, sometimes the fireworks are postponed. Perhaps rather than always pointing to the example of a sexy young married couple, we should point our older teenagers and young married couples to the eighty-seven year old man who has been wheeling his wife into the congregation every Sunday for thirty years, since she lost the use of her arms and legs in a stroke, or to the sixty year old woman who faithfully shaves the face of her Alzheimer's-riddled husband, even as he curses and swats at a woman he doesn't remember.”


I can learn a lesson from a gentleman who did more than repeat his vows. He lived them. While surfing the internet I ran across the story of Robertson McQuilkin and his wife Muriel. Robertson McQuilkin was the President of Columbia Bible College until 1990 when he retired to take care of his wife, Muriel, who was crippled with Alzheimer's disease.

He first noticed changes in her while vacationing in Florida. She repeated a story she had told just five minutes earlier to a couple they were visiting. Three years later after having tests ran on her heart the doctor suggested to Mr. McQuilkin that he should consider the possibility of Alzheimer’s. Even though he dismissed the possibility, he couldn’t ignore the changes taking place in his wife.

Muriel McQuilkin had been as involved in the ministry as her husband. She had a morning radio program called “Look Up” especially designed to encourage women. She traveled extensively to various speaking engagements. She counseled with those who sought her advice. She would read and record textbooks for blind students. Needless to say, her life was busy with the things that make life worth living.

At that time Robertson McQuilkin was just 57 years old and wondered if he could take care of Muriel as well as hold on to his job as president of the college until he was 65. What would happen in the next eight years of Muriel’s life? As her abilities declined, Robertson began to ponder his future. Would he sacrifice his job to care for his wife? Or would he sacrifice his commitment to his wife to fulfill his duties at work?

Even though several colleagues and friends recommended that he put her in an institution of some kind, he just couldn’t do it. He said: "The decision was made, in a way, 42 years ago when I promised to care for Muriel, ‘in sickness and in health…till death do us part.’ She has cared for me fully and sacrificially all these years; if I cared for her for the next 40 years I would not be out of her debt."

I do not understand why Muriel McQuilkin and others like her must suffer with a disease such as Alzheimer’s. Neither do I understand completely why Jesus waited while Lazarus died and was buried. What I do understand is this - Life is hard but God is good.

In my life and in my marriage I will face hardships that will either make me or break me. In those circumstances I will find out if I really do trust the Lord. And, in those situations I will discover afresh the faithfulness of God. Robertson McQuilkin did. And with faith in Christ, you will too.